A Lifetime of Dying
I’m tortured by moments as they tick away
For they’ll be memories that haunt me one day
Lovelier than I deserve, they never stay
The tighter I hold, the more of time’s sands fall
Slipping through my fingers, tenderness and all
Draining all my dreams, leaving me feeling small
I know when sweet memories are being made
It makes for each second to cut like a blade
All my joys tumble in a tragic cascade
I fear that I exist outside of the now
In a netherworld I wish to disavow
I must gouge this vision, but I don’t know how
Will moments ever come with ignorant bliss?
Or will they still consign me to this abyss?
That all the love I get I’ll already miss?
All I know to do is endure constant change
Until fate can’t discern me and finds me strange
And from this curse I will at last be estranged
I wrote this poem years ago in the form of an Arabic Muzdawidj. I rarely explain my poems, and wiil refrain from explaining this completely as many of my poems have double meanings. But at least in good part, it is about spending time with someone and all the while knowing that they’ll soon be gone forever. A tragic thing.. to miss someone we love before they’re gone, and then endure a lifetime knowing we missed those moments with them when we had them.
.
.
.
